


Repairs and Regrets

by 2nerd4this



Category: Agents of SHIELD - Fandom
Genre: AU?, Angst, Betrayal, Could be seen as romantic if you really tried I guess, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Post S2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 17:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21039731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2nerd4this/pseuds/2nerd4this
Summary: Bobbi wakes up after her time with Ward. She is forced to face the aftermath of her actions with the Real SHIELD head on as she works to repair relationships.





	Repairs and Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> AU after Season 2 because Bobbi wakes up a month later instead of a couple hours/days/whatever.

The only coherent feeling Bobbi had as she woke up before she was hit with a wave of excruciating pain was guilt. Anything after that was filled by the unending ache in her head, the searing pain in her shoulder, and the strange numbness in her knee. She didn't even open her eyes in fear of agravting her headache, but she could feel the presence of other people. And that couldn't mean anything good. Frantically, Bobbi tried to sit up and lash out at the presence on her left. She didn't get very far, though, before soft hands grabbed her wrists and held them fast. Someone else gently pushed her shoulders back into the pillow, which did nothing but encourage her to fight harder. Whatever was going on, she had to get out of here.

"Morse. Stop. Morse, you need to calm down, you're ok. You're safe, I promise" a familiar voice commanded. Bobbi slowed her attempts to escape in order to try and place the voice, but she couldn't think straight. Everything hurt. She squirmed against their grip and tried to speak, scream, anything, but couldn't breath deep enough to form a coherent sentence, or even a couple words. She was running out of energy and could feel the fight leaving her. 

"Bobbi, please. You're alright, but you're going to aggravate your injuries. Relax, you're alright. Don't try to get up, you're just going to hurt yourself more."

This was another voice that Bobbi knew she should recognize, but she couldn't bring herself to place it. Somehow, through the pain, she did have a flash of rationality. Whoever these people were, they weren't trying to hurt her. Breathing deeply, Bobbi relaxed back into the bed, prying her arms out of the other person's grip. 

"There you go, Bobbi. You're ok. Can you open you're eyes please? Jemma needs to check you over. There you go." The first voice was soft, and felt uncharacteristicly concerned. Whoever this was, Bobbi trusted them. Slowly, Morse pried her eyes open, recoiling at the bright lights of the Med Bay, and looked around blearily. 

"Good job Bobbi. This is a lot farther than last time. We just need to check you over, ok? It's just me and May here. You're safe, I promise." 

As the world came into focus, Bobbi identified the base's Med Bay. She was in one of the long-term beds and May and Simmons stood on either side of her. All of the sudden, memories of torture and Ward and Hunter and guns going off and sheer, unending pain came flying back and her breathing rapidly quickened. 

"Ok, ok, you're ok. You're safe, I promise Bobbi. Breathe, Morse. Look at me. There you go. You're safe. Hunter is safe. Yeah, there you go." May had pulled a chair up next to Bobbi and was grasping her hand tightly, watching as the younger girl's breathing slowed once again. A small smile hinted her approval as she nodded at Simmons, who looked to Bobbi for consent before continuing her medical examination.

\-----

Hours later, after Hunter and Coulson and Fitz and Mack and Skye, who apparently went by Daisy now, had visited Bobbi and whispered words of encouragement, the woman in question had allowed herself to fall into a restless sleep. Every so often she would wake up, breathing heavily, or as heavily as she could with a shattered lung, and May would whisper comforting comments to her and help her back to sleep. Simmons had ran many tests, but in the end she concluded that Bobbi would eventually, after a couple more surgeries and physical therapy, make a full recovery. Apparently Bobbi had been unconscious for 3 weeks, and had spent another constantly on the verge of waking up, but never staying conscious enough to communicate.

Hunter has camped out by the Med Bay for a week after they found her, but Jemma has refused to allow him or anyone else to see her until she was sure that Bobbi was stable. Then he had slept at her bedside every night and spent every day searching for Ward until Coulson forced him back to his bunk. Fitz and Mack visited every day for a couple hours and talked to her. Daisy would come and visit two or three times a day. Simmons refused to go more than a few hours without checking Bobbi over, and would often be found crying in the corner of the Med Bay, especially the first couple weeks. Coulson was busy, of course, but he would visit for a few minutes every day, both checking up on Bobbi and forcing whoever was sitting by her bed to go rest. May would come at night, whenever the base was the quietest, and sit by her bed, talking softly and watching as she slept. Bobbi's close call with death was a wake up call for everyone. Even though most of them were mad at Mack and Morse for their betrayal, nobody wanted them dead. 

\-----

When Bobbi woke up, she could see a sliver of sunlight peaking through the window. Groaning as the pain traveled once more through her body, she struggled to sit up and look around. May was asleep in a chair next to her, a book in her lap. The sight of the older woman comforted the young agent. The knowledge that the team had cared for her after the Ward incident, despite her betrayal, gave her an almost warm feeling, but there was guilt piled on top of it. She couldn't possibly deny that she had betrayed her team, even if she had done it for a good reason. The nagging feeling that she didn't deserve their attention and care wouldn't leave her mind. So much so that when May stretched and woke, Bobbi shifted as quickly as she could to her side and pretended to be asleep.

Of course, the trained specialist didn't fall for it and Morse could feel her mentors eyes watching her. 

"Good morning Bobbi. How are you feeling?" May asked. The unnatural softness in her voice set Bobbi on edge. She carefully turned over and eyed the older agent warily. May hadn't mentioned the girl's foolish attempt at tricking her, so Bobbi didn't either. Instead she just watched as May shifted in her chair to face her, trying her best to push her guilt and unease to the side.

"Like I got tortured and shot. Am I supposed to feel different?" Bobbi muttered. She didn't mean for it to come out so harshly, and immediately ducked her head apologetically. "Sorry."

Luckily May was smart enough to recognize a defense mechanism when she saw one and just shook her head, smirking softly. "No of course not. Do you want more pain meds? Jemma left me with explicit instructions to keep you as comfortable as possible." May broke off as Bobbi started to scoot out from underneath the covers, and quickly put her hands on the woman's shoulders. "And in bed. That was a big part of it. Stay in bed. You'll be there for a while, so you might was well get used to it." May smiled sadly at her, and Bobbi just huffed in return.

"Great. On top of everything, I'm broken and confined to this damn Med Bay." The agent slumped back into bed, trying her best to ignore the dull pain in her shoulder and knee that grew every time she moved.

"' On top of everything'? What's that supposed to mean?" May's expression was one of genuine curiousity, but had the definite undertones that she already knew the answer to the question. 

"Nothing. I just, I mean.... nothing." Bobbi crossed her arms, looking suspiciously like a stubborn child hiding something from her mother. 

"Why don't I believe you?" May replied, tone even, looking suspiciously like a stern mother prying the truth from a child. 

"I dunno, but that's not my problem. My problem is I was just kidnapped, tortured, beaten up, and shot. On top of that, there you go--- On top of that, I am stuck in this dumb bed where I'm absolutely useless and after that I'm stuck in a dumb wheelchair where I'm just in the way, and then I'll be on crutches, and then I'll be taken off field duty, and then I'll be a liability because who wants to work with an agent whose missing half her lung and has to wear a knee brace for the rest of her life! Don't think I don't know what happens to agents who are critically injured in the field. We can't all be Couldon and miraculously come back from the dead with some weird alien power to draw maps and all of the sudden become the director of SHIELD. And we can't all be the great Melinda May, who goes through some dramatic trauma that would paralyze any ordinary woman and then come back to be even fiercer than before. Not everyone has the power to overcome the system like that. I'm just a soldier. And an injured soldier is worthless."

An odd silence filled the room as the two woman stared at each other, the taller agent breathing heavily. Finally May spoke.

"That doesn't sound like nothing."

"Shut up May."

"No. That's not nothing, Bobbi, that's trauma. And fear. Both are completely natural. I understand, I really do, but the Bobbi Morse that I know would never allow the likes of Grant Ward to destroy her career as one of the greatest SHIELD agents in history."

"The Bobbi Morse you know? You mean the one that turned on you, tried to arrest your best friend and partner, led the team that shot at your surrogate daughter, was part of the faction that split your team up, and personally threw you across the room and most definitely betrayed your entire team. Because the Bobbi you knew before all that was all an act."

"Oh so that is what this is about. Alright. We can talk about this if you want. That Bobbi wasn't an act. Trust me. After Ward, I know what it looks like when someone is faking being devoted to a cause in order to get close to my team members. You weren't that. You and Mack made a decision. I don't believe that you felt nothing for Coulson and our team. And I don't believe that you would betray the team that you loved if you hadn't given it some serious thought. That's why I agreed to join Gonzalez. I trusted your judgment. If you and Mack thought that was for the best, then I would give you the benefit of the doubt. You are still you. And you're definitely not worthless, no matter how injured you are. I know you, despite your reservations. I knew you before the fall of SHIELD and I knew you before the "Real" SHIELD and I know you now. Don't do this to yourself." 

Bobbi was sitting up in bed now, blanket clenched in her fist and body tensed. She refused to look at May, but made sure she remained in her peripheral. May just stared back at her, studying and watching. Bobbi opened her mouth, the shut it quickly, thinking. May waited patiently.

"I promised Lance that I wasn't hiding anything from him. I... I need him. And.... I... I need to make it up to you guys. And now I can't because I can't even sit up without wanting to chop of my leg. God I'm such a mess"

Bobbi rested her head in her hands, only wincing slightly as her shoulder moved. May stood up silently and pushed the button on the wall, pumping more pain meds into the woman's IV. From her spot by the wall, May watched the younger agent carefully.

"You want our forgiveness. That's fair. My suggestion is you ask for it. Let them know that you did what you thought was best. And if your looking for a benefit of staying in bed, people are a lot more likely to forgive a cripple who can't breath without help."

Bobbi smirked a little at the last part. May smiled a little back at her. 

"You know that how?"

"My dramatic trauma you spoke of? Turns out trauma brings all your life's regrets to the surface. I didn't ask for forgiveness because I was too stubborn, but when Coulson came back, he made amends with everyone who could know he was alive, even if it wasn't necessary. He apologized for dying. Like it was his fault or something. Your injury showed us the reality of this situation. No matter how mad we were at you and Mack, we loved you. That's what family does."

Bobbi looked down, picking at the blanket. May smiled softly at her, waiting patiently.

"Thank you." 

"Rest, Morse. And don't worry. You'll be back in the field before you know it."

**Author's Note:**

> This was a spur-of-the-moment write, and was not edited, so I appreciate you hanging in to even make it to the end.   
I appreciate critique!


End file.
